Greeny Phatom: The Movie

Greeny Phatom The Movie (Full Movie, 2005) is a movie by Robert Stainton / Greenyphatom2009 / SAINTED SAILOR. It is based on his series Greeny Phatom. If you've watched any "episodes" of Greeny Phatom, you already know that this movie is not going to be a good one.

Why It's Wretched

 * 1) The “animation”, if you could even call it that, is astoundingly awful. The “animation”, as par for the course for Greeny Phatom videos, is basically a glorified slideshow of atrocious MS Paint drawings that make the average Johnny Test hate art look like Starry Night in comparison.
 * 2) The audio mixing in some parts of the movie is vile. The loud music in some scenes, combined with the poor quality of the text-to-speech recordings, can make it hard to understand what the characters are saying.  The sound is sometimes loud enough that it ends up being distorted.
 * 3) The voice acting is mostly done by text-to-speech voices, and the poor quality of the recordings can make it hard to understand what the characters are saying at times.
 * 4) *When the voices are not being done by text-to-speech voices or audio from shows, a kid (presumably its creator) does the voices. Why couldn't he have voiced the other characters?
 * 5) The plot is uninteresting, inconsistent, beyond idiotic, and has so many plot holes that not even all the Swiss cheese in the world can top the amount of holes the plot has. Plot points are also suddenly introduced with no buildup.
 * 6) The characters make very bizarre and stupid decisions for equally stupid or even nonexistent reasons.
 * 7) The movie feels biased against Dr. Beanson and in favor of Little Guy. For example, when Dr. Beanson finds a toy and buys it, Little Guy, who was supposedly in a bad mood because Dr. Beanson asked him not to constantly watch Little Guy Insanity so much, and Little Guy 2 get angry at him for no discernible reason.  Also, even though Dr. Beanson says that he bought the toy, the characters act like he shoplifted the toy, and Gree Guy does not let Dr. Beanson explain himself.  Additionally, rather than the "stolen" toy being returned to the Toys R Us, it is given to Little Guy.
 * 8) There are tons of filler, scenes that drag on for way too long, and big-lipped alligator moments. For example, after Dr. Beanson shoplifts again, Little Guy randomly reads an unusual sale sign for a Home Depot walk-in kitchen.  Additionally, there is a sing-along section in Russian.  Sometimes, characters will repeat a phrase (“3 days!”, “You can’t have that back!”, etc.) over and over again, which can get incredibly irritating quickly.
 * 9) At one point in the movie, specifically the 1:18:10 mark, Little Guy tells Dr. Beanson that Russians should be imprisoned forever along with thieves, which is very offensive to Russians.
 * 10) The intro music is on par with the Lexibook TV Game Console’s .wxn games in terms of being ear-bleedingly horrible. It sounds like a badly compressed tune from Mario Paint.
 * 11) Some settings are inconsistent for what the characters are describing. After the aforementioned scene, Little Guy asks for Dr. Mother’s opinion on the “toy store” they are in, despite the backgrounds clearly being shots of the interior of a Home Depot store.
 * 12) The ending is extremely idiotic, unsatisfying, and tries to make a "no stealing" moral out of the movie.
 * 13) The characters are not very interesting or likable, and their personalities are inconsistent at times. For example, Little Guy, the main protagonist of the movie, sometimes gets angry for little to no reason at all, such as whenever Dr. Beanson buys the toy Little Guy and Little Guy 2 have.  For another example, Dr. Mother hates anything that she thinks is for babies, this including toy stores and the toy that is one of the main focuses of the movie. She even takes the toy away from Little Guy and Little Guy 2 just because "It's for babies!", forcing the two to buy a new one.
 * 14) Some scenes, such as when Little Guy and Little Guy 2 were walking through the snow, the "Electric Avenue" scene and the animated Big Ball Of Violence, are recycled.
 * 15) The jokes are very weak and sometimes make no sense.
 * 16) Copyrighted songs, audios, and clips from shows, movies, and games are overused. Licensed characters also show up from time to time with little to no explanation.
 * 17) Pop culture references and product placements happen quite often and become quite tiring.
 * 18) The character designs are inconsistent between scenes.
 * 19) The dialogue is capable of destroying half of a viewer’s brain cells with how nonsensical it can be, some examples being ”I wonder this toy store that has Little Guy Insanity stuff all over it?” and ”Why did he troll me from last time?”. The broken English does not help, either.
 * 20) Most of the characters don’t even get a proper introduction.
 * 21) Whenever Green Bob the 2nd talks, the Loquendo jingle (complete with the auto-tuned female voice) can be heard in the background.
 * 22) Little Guy's voice changes to a deeper voice whenever he is angered, which feels inconsistent.
 * 23) Some sound effects are used in rather unusual or nonsensical ways. For example, in Dr. Beanson’s nightmare where he is confronted by the police for shoplifting, the tune that plays when the player starts Galaga or the bonus levels in the same game are completed plays near the end of the nightmare.
 * 24) The video’s description claims that the movie came out on February 18, 2005, when the upload date clearly states otherwise. It also claims that companies like Sony Wonder, Paramount, Klasky Csupo, Children's Television Workshop, and CINAR (which later renamed to Cookie Jar Group in 2004 before being acquired by DHX Media in 2012) were involved in it and famous cartoon writers worked on it, which are (obviously) false.
 * 25) The "poster" for the movie is a ripoff of the poster for South Park: Bigger, Longer, & Uncut. The movie's tagline also rips off one of the taglines for The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie ("Hero. Legend. Sponge.").

Redeeming Qualities

 * 1) The movie can be good ironically.
 * 2) Unlike some of the "movies" like Stick Figure The Movie and Go!Animate The Movie on this Wiki, this video is actually long enough to properly qualify as a movie.

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